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| |  Posted 10/04/2008 17:35:09 | |
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| I have just been for a run along the sea front and now my farts smell of salt water. It's a bit different and I welcome it.
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~ Listen to the tales and romanticise, how we follow the path of the hero. |
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| | | Posted 10/04/2008 17:36:39 | |
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| Sometimes, if I've been eating raw onion, my farts smell of petrol.
________________________________Predicting false dawns since August '07.
 
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| | | Posted 10/04/2008 17:42:08 | |
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| I was dying for a crap while driving so I stopped at motorway services. I was barely sitting down, when I heard a voice from the other stall saying, "Hi, how are you?" Now I'm not the type to start a conversation sat on the bog but I don't know what got into me, so I answered, "Doin' just fine, mate!" Then the other person says, "So what are you up to?" What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say: "Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling!" At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question. "Can I come over?" Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell them "No........I'm a little busy right now!!!" Then I hear the person say nervously, "Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps trying to talk to me." True story. or is it?
Yes, all right.. Christ Almighty! It's like walking down a corridor and answering the door in Nazi Germany! |
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| | | Posted 10/04/2008 17:43:59 | |
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| Bill Bastard (10/04/2008)
Sometimes, if I've been eating raw onion, my farts smell of petrol.
Hadnt noticed that. I will keep a nostril out for it next time.
My gramma (RIP) thought raw onion was the elixir to all ailments. 'Whats that hey, your constipated? An onion'll fix it Danny.' 'What's that you've a broken arm? An onion'll fix it.'.
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~ Listen to the tales and romanticise, how we follow the path of the hero. |
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| | | Posted 10/04/2008 17:46:35 | |
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| save me Jeebus (10/04/2008)
I was dying for acrap while driving so I stopped at motorway services. I was barely sitting down, when I heard a voice from the other stall saying, "Hi, how are you?" Now I'm not the type to start a conversationsat on the bogbut I don't know what got into me, so I answered, "Doin' just fine, mate!"Then the other person says, "So what are you up to?" What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say: "Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling!" At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question. "Can I come over?" Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell them "No........I'm a little busy right now!!!" Then I hear the person say nervously, "Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps trying to talk to me." True story. or is it?
I like it either way Jeebus.
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~ Listen to the tales and romanticise, how we follow the path of the hero. |
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| | | Posted 11/04/2008 12:33:08 | |
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| save me Jeebus (10/04/2008)
I was dying for a crap while driving so I stopped at motorway services. I was barely sitting down, when I heard a voice from the other stall saying, "Hi, how are you?" Now I'm not the type to start a conversation sat on the bog but I don't know what got into me, so I answered, "Doin' just fine, mate!" Then the other person says, "So what are you up to?" What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say: "Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling!" At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question. "Can I come over?" Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell them "No........I'm a little busy right now!!!" Then I hear the person say nervously, "Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps trying to talk to me." True story. or is it?
Has me giggling loads. I had a Sirloin Steak Sandwich and a cheese platter last night. After turning over and getting an "undercover waft" I almost gagged this morning. Then I was dead proud.
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up, charm, top, down, strange, bottom |
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| | | Posted 11/04/2008 12:54:48 | |
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| | I did a particularly smelly one in the crowd last night, and managed to pass it off and blame it on a Scouse Lady! I was chuckling all night to myself... Think it was my proudest moment!* *I have a shit life don't I!
"I Am Liam, I Am From Manchester... But I Have Brain Cells" Liam Fray, 2008 |
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| | | Posted 11/04/2008 13:19:55 | |
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| I had to go into my bosses office this morning when he was out for a few minutes, but while i was in there i managed to let a right stinking ripsnorter out.
Someone get a message through to Captain Snort
That they better start assembling the boys from the fort.
And keep Mrs. Honeyman right out of sight,
'Cos there's gonna be riot down in Trumpton Tonight.
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| | | Posted 11/04/2008 13:24:47 | |
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| Half Bassman Half Biscuit (11/04/2008)
I had to go into my bosses office this morning when he was out for a few minutes, but while i was in there i managed to let a right stinking ripsnorter out.You should have done it in his desk drawer, for delayed release fun.
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up, charm, top, down, strange, bottom |
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| | | Posted 11/04/2008 13:27:38 | |
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| | At the Editors gig at the beginning of March i needed a poo so much that i genuinely thought i was going to shit myself. I let some proper stinkers out that night. I once had a poo so bad as well that, and i swear it's no word of a lie, it crossed my mind that i was going to die. I realise now how silly that seems, but it was terrible. It was like a tap, i could hear dripping long after i could feel anything.
From Manchester with love |
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