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| |  Posted 19/03/2008 09:14:08 | |
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| A guy walks into a shop and tells the clerk, "I'll take a Fender Stratoblaster guitar thingy with an extra pack of nylong strings. I also need an amplificator, a toner to tone it up and some patchy cords." The clerk says to him, "I take it you're a drummer?". The guys says, "Why yes, how did you know?". The clerk says, "This is a Travel Agency".
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A drummer, tired of being ridiculed by his peers, decides to learn how to play some "real" musical instruments. He goes to a music store, walks in, approaches the store clerk, and says "I'll take that red trumpet over there and that accordion."
The store clerk looks at him a bit funny, and replies "OK, you can have the fire extinguisher but the radiator's got to stay".
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What do you call a drummer who breaks up with his girlfriend?
Homeless.
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~ Listen to the tales and romanticise, how we follow the path of the hero. |
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| | | Posted 19/03/2008 09:20:19 | |
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Cloudy's back
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| Ba dum tish seems inadequate somehow? 
Avoid, rather than check. Check, rather than hurt. Hurt, rather than maim. Maim, rather than kill. For all life is precious, nor can any be replaced. |
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| | | Posted 19/03/2008 09:20:32 | |
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| | How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb? 101. One to change the lightbulb and 100 others to stand around stroking their chins saying "Yeah, that wasn't bad, but Neil Peart would have done it better."
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| | | Posted 19/03/2008 09:23:44 | |
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| | What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians? The drummer.
you know, you know, if a feller named Monroe never fathered bluegrass
he would still be unrecognised as the grand wizard of speed metal 
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| | | Posted 19/03/2008 09:25:12 | |
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| | How can you tell when the drum riser is level? The drool is coming out of both sides of the drummer's mouth.
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| | | Posted 19/03/2008 09:35:27 | |
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| Q - How do you confuse a bassist?
A - Put one of his strings out of tune, but don't tell him which one!
Q - How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
A - None, They let the keyboard player do it with his left hand
Q - How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
A - Don't bother. Just leave it out--no one will notice
Q - How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
A - One, but the guitarist has to show him first 
Q - How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
A - Six, one to change it, and the other five to fight off the lead guitarists who are hogging the light
Q - How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
A - One. Five. One. Five.
Q - Why do bands have bass players?
A - To translate for the drummer.
Q - Did you hear about the time the bass player locked his keys in the car?
A - It took two hours to get the drummer out.
Q - Why did the bass player get angry with the lead guitarist?
A - The lead guitarist turned a string and wouldn't say which one.
Q - How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A - None, The Lead player can do it with his teeth.
Q - What's the definition of a bass player?
A - Halfway between a drummer and a musician.
Q - How do you get a bass player off your doorstep?
A - Pay for the pizza.
Q - What's the difference between a Bassist and a rhino that's just eaten a tin of baked beans?
A - One's a huge useless thing that makes a deep farting noise and the other is a rhino.
Q - What's the difference between a bass player and a Duracell battery?
A - The Duracell battery has a good life.
Q - Why don't bass players ever catch a cold?
A - Even a virus has some pride.
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~ Listen to the tales and romanticise, how we follow the path of the hero. |
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| | | Posted 19/03/2008 09:38:58 | |
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Someone get a message through to Captain Snort
That they better start assembling the boys from the fort.
And keep Mrs. Honeyman right out of sight,
'Cos there's gonna be riot down in Trumpton Tonight.
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| | | Posted 19/03/2008 09:39:04 | |
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| A man gives his son an electric bass for his 15th birthday, along with a coupon for four bass lessons. When the son returns from his first lesson, the father asks, "So, what did you learn?"
"Well, I learned the first five notes on the E string." Next week, after the second lesson, the father again asks about the progress, and the son replies, "This time I learned the first five notes on the A string." One week later, the son comes home far later than expected, smelling of cigarettes and beer. So the father asks: "Hey, what happened in today's lesson?" "Dad, I'm sorry I couldn't make it to my lesson; I had a gig!"
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~ Listen to the tales and romanticise, how we follow the path of the hero. |
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| | | Posted 19/03/2008 09:40:22 | |
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Cloudy's back
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| Thread title changed on account of Danny being Drummerist.
Avoid, rather than check. Check, rather than hurt. Hurt, rather than maim. Maim, rather than kill. For all life is precious, nor can any be replaced. |
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| | | Posted 19/03/2008 09:41:22 | |
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| A scientific expedition disembarks from its plane at the final outpost of civilization in the deepest Amazon rain forest. They immediately notice the ceaseless thrumming of native drums. As they venture further into the bush, the drums never stop, day or night, for weeks.
The lead scientist asks one of the natives about this, and the native's only reply is "Drums good. Drums never stop. Very BAD if drums stop."
The drumming continues, night and day, until one night, six weeks into the trip, when the jungle is suddenly silent. Immediately the natives run screaming from their huts, covering their ears. The scientists grab one boy and demand "What is it? The drums have stopped!"
The terror-stricken youth replies "Yes! Drums stop! VERY BAD!"
The scientists ask "Why? Why? What will happen?"
Wild-eyed, the boy responds,
" . . . BASS SOLO!!!"
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~ Listen to the tales and romanticise, how we follow the path of the hero. |
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