A couple of factual errors but still amusing...

 

 

 

 

Mc - Right, Tel, thanks to Israel I can still get us through to the Euros and can't afford any mistakes. Goalkeeper - who's the best in the country?

TV - Rob Green

Mc - Don't know him. Is he in the squad?

TV - No.

Mc - Who have we got - I can't afford to play that clown Robinson again?

TV - James and Carson.

Mc - Who would you go for?

TV - Well James is in good form and has more experience.

Mc - Hmmmmm, James cost Sven a few games, I'll go with Carson. Defence picks itself; Nev, JT, Rio and Ash.

TV - They're all injured, Steve.

Mc - Oh. Well, Micah at right back, Ledley and Carra in the middle and the other fella who can only kick with one foot on the left.

TV - Ledley's injured, Steve - and Carra refuses to play for his country.

Mc - Who does that leave me?

TV - Lescott and Sol.

Mc - There must be other centre halves?

TV - They're all foreigners, Steve.

Mc - Lescott? I thought he was a left back, never mind, he's in.

Midfield is easy Becks, Lamps, Stevie G and Joey.

TV - I wouldn't start with Becks, Steve. Not fit and playing in a Mickey Mouse league.

Mc - Well I saw him a few weeks ago and he scored twice in a 14-4 win.

TV - Save him towards the end in case we need a get out of jail card like against Greece.

Mc - Good idea - so we'll play the little fella on the right. You know,quick with no end product.

TV - Lennon?

Mc - No, the other one. He's Dad will be in the TV studio, so that should go down well. So that's SWP, Lamps, Stevie G and Joey.

TV - Steve, you know Frank and Stevie G can't play together, even my old mum knows that.

Mc - Only because neither one is defensive. I'm going to put another man behind them, Barry. That'll fool Bilic. Now, up front. I think we should play the two that caused Russia so many problems here.

TV - Heskey and Owen?

Mc - Yep.

TV - They're both injured.

Mc - $hit - who would you play?

TV - Rooney and Ashton.

Mc - Excellent, two class players, they're in.

TV - They're both injured.

Mc - Fck me, have I upset the big man up there?

TV - Who, Barwick?

Mc -No THE big man.

TV - Crouchy won't let you down.

Mc - How many goals has he scored this season?

TV - None

Mc - None? Is he the best we've got?

TV - We've got Defoe and Bent as well. They've got one goal between them.

Mc - One goal between 3 of our best players, why is that?

TV - Too many foreigners in the Premiership.

Mc - Tel, I'm struggling here, do you think I'm out of my depth?

TV - Don't be silly, look at your CV, how many trophies have you won?

Mc - None.

TV - I've just remembered, I've got to speak to my sol