Biddy Baxter (23/11/2007)

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Can someone explain please?

Appears in every Daily Mash story near enough!

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WeegieBlue (23/11/2007)

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Biddy Baxter (23/11/2007)

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Can someone explain please?

Appears in every Daily Mash story near enough!

Weegie Blue, stealing other forummers factoids since this morning.

Man City Forum poster Squidge has this morning thrown a spanner in the works of The FA's attempts to lure him into the England managers hotseat, with rumours of a "£3.00 a day and a packet-of-sweets-if-you're-good" contract.

Squidge commented that he was worried the rumours about his past shenanigans with Mr MicahRichardsatemybaby would taint the publics opinion of him, and that he may never be given a proper chance.

Squidge commented "I have commintments to MrsStobe, and the rumours regarding my relationship with Mramb are not helpful. Sadly, i do not feel that i can take this position with the media already dragging up history. I have nothing more to say on this at the moment" - before adding, "I am not a bummer".

Www.makebelievemanagers.com also understands that Squidge just isn't ready to step outside of the Friday Night Geek Club yet, but he is young and has time on his side.

From Manchester with love

I was going to accept it as well. It was a real challenge, England are a massive club and there's perhaps been occasions in the past when we haven't performed to expectations. But from the start of my tenure I'd like to think we're going to utilise this Golden Generation and the strong strong set up at grass roots, and I would have looked forward to making England a premier footballing force as she deserves to be.

A flurry of betting activity has seen bookmakers across the country shorten the odds on Benny becoming next England manager to 7/2.  The widespread rush to the bookies seems linked to comments leaked to the press from a source close to The Blue las night.

This morning's Faily Mirror ran the story across their back page, quoting Benny as saying "I could do a loads better job than that sorry arse McClown.  I'd be fan-fooking-tastic". However, it is believed that Benny had had several pints by this time.

The potential link of a vibrant geek like Benny with an older, more experienced, grammatically perfect manager like Bert Trautmann's Neck Brace seems to have fans licking their lips in anticipation.

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up, charm, top, down, strange, bottom

Reports that the pair were willing to operate a partnership based on the famous 1960's model of Manchester City's Mercer Allison combo have been circulating aroun Soho Square for the last 2 days.

Bert's spokesman, Sven Vertebrae, said that the man himself was happy in his current post ogling teenage scouse dancers.

you do not mess with Jack Reacher

City Forum poster Gallagheresque told the FA to "shove it" when asked about the Vacant England post.

It had been reported that he was in line for the job but when asked he replied "If  i wanted to see a bunch of fairies fer 90 mins I would go to the theatre to watch Swan lake, they can shove it"

Brian Barwick admitted that he was surprised at Gallagheresques outburst but didn't blame him.

WeegieBlue, the infamous premiership poster, has issued a "come and get me" plea to the FA after a fucking disaterous day in his current role as financial adviser/brew maker.

A source close to WeegieBlue explained the reasoning behind the call.

"Weegie called me at lunchtime to say that the bird he sits next to was really doing his nut in, and that if he didn't get out soon, his foot and her face were going to be best pals by 4pm" said Wayne Hayes, padder of many a story.

Other sources have linked the outburst to the bookies slashing the odds on Bennytheblue. "With regular use of tmesis, Benny can abso-fucking-lutely do the job" quoted a source. Probably Wayne "Story-Slag" Hayes again.

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  Not long till the weekend Weegie...

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up, charm, top, down, strange, bottom

TiDA has announced this afternoon that he is now "very fucking interested you fucking ponce" in the vacant England Manager's role.  It is thought this is because TiDA has been told today that, having given his current employers ten years of his life, he could be out of a job in January.

Soho Square's "info-slut", Wayne Hayes, has confirmed that chief exec Brian Barwick received a call today from TiDA himself who had demanded the job "or else I'll fucking well come down there and smash your stupid fucking face in you fucking gobshite".  Mr Hayes indicated that Mr Barwick had been very impressed by the impromptu telephone assessment and had begged TiDA "to go easy on him" due to a brain condition Mr Barwick has been suffering from for the past 18 months.

TiDA, speaking from his current home beneath a cardboard box under one the arches of Stockport viaduct, said, "Can you spare any change mate?".  Later during our exclusive interview and after a calming bottle of meths, TiDA explained "If that fucking cock-end gives the job to any one of those other twats I'm gonna tear the fuckers head off and piss down his throat.  The twat"

Mr Barwick was unavailable for comment however Mr Hayes says he was thinking very seriously about TiDA's comments.