Mr 'I'm Superguest' Badger (29/09/2006)

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First nomination: 'I liked you better before you were naked on the internet' by From First To Last from the album 'Dear Diary, My Teen Angst Has A Bodycount'.

All The Girls Look Prettier at Closing Time

C'mon Down off the Stove, Granny, You're Too Old to Ride the Range

Don't Cry On My Shoulders Cause Your Rustin' My Spurs
Don't Do Anything 'Til I Hear From You
Don't Run Through The Screen Door Honey You'll Only Strain Yourself
Drop-kick me, Jesus, through the Goal posts of Life.

Fido is a Hot Dog Now
For Better or Worse, But not for Long
Forget the Night, Help Me Make It Through the Door
From The Indies To The Andes In His Undies


Get Out The Meatballs Mama. We're Coming To A Fork In The Road
Get your Biscuits in the Oven and your Buns in the bed
Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye

Heaven's Just A Sin Away
Horses Don't Bet On People (And That's Why They Never Go Broke)
How Can I Miss You When You Won't go Away? (The Red Clay Ramblers from North Carolina.)
How Could You Believe Me When I Said I Love You When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life (Lane & Lerner 1951)

I Can't Love Your Body if Your Heart's Not In It
I Didn't Raise My Dog to be a Sausage
If Fingerprints Showed Up On Skin, Wonder Whose I'd Find On You
If I Can't Sell it, I'll Keep Sitting On It
If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now
If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body, Would You Hold It Against Me?
I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.
If Money Talks, It Ain't On Speaking Terms With Me
If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You
If She Puts Lipstick On My Dipstick, I'll Fall In Love
If You Don't Believe I Love You Just Ask My Wife
If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?
If You Really Loved Me You Would Have Married Somebody Else
If You Won't Leave Me Alone Ill Find Someone Who Will
I Hate Every Bone In Your Body Except Mine
I Heard the Voice of a Porkchop
I Just Couldn't Leave Her Behind Alone
I Just Fell In Something and I Sure Hope It's Love
I Kissed Her on the Lips, And Left Her Behind for You
I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonite
I'll Never Get Over You So Turn Off The Alarm It's Your Side Of The Bed
I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield of Life.
I'm Gettin' Gray From Being Blue
I'm Gonna Build Me a Bar in the Back of My Car and Drive Myself to Drink
I'm Looking for a Guy Who Plays Alto and Baritone and Doubles on Clarinet and Wears a Size 37 Suit (Ozzie Nelson 1940).

I'm Old Enough to Know Better But Still Too Young to Care
I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here
I'm Sorry I Made You Cry, But At Least Your Face Is Cleaner
I'm the Guy that Paid the Rent for Mrs. Rip Van Winkle
I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised
I Only Have Eyes For You, But Look What I've Got For Your Sister
In the Good Old Days when Times were Bad
I Ran Over My Dog in My Pickup at the Trainstation Comin' Back From My Mother's Funeral After I Got Out of Jail, In the Rain

I Still Miss You, Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better
I Thought the Acropolis Was a Ruin Until I Saw You
It's Only The Hair On A Gooseberry (That Stops It From Being A Grape)
I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
I've Got Elgin Movements in my Hips (guaranteed a thousand hours)
I've got Ford Engine Movements in my Hips(guaranteed a thousand miles)
I've Got Red Eyes From Your White Lies And I'm Blue All The Time
I've Got You on My Conscience But At Least You're Off My Back
I've Got a Funny Feeling (I Won't Be Feeling Funny Very Long)
I've Never Seen a Straight Banana
I Won't Go Huntin' With You Jake, But I'll Go Chasin' Women
I Wouldn't Take You To A Dog Fight Even If I Thought You Could Win
In the Footprints of Time, I'm Just a Heel

Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)
My Sweet Tooth Says I Wanna, But My Wisdom Tooth Says No (Stept, Clare & Young 1931)
My Trousseau Just Lies On The Shelf Since My Lover’s Surfboard Came In By Itself (mentioned in “I Love Lucy”)
My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him

Never Hit Your Grandma with a Shovel (Spike Jones)
Nitric Acid Rag
No Matter how young a Prune may be, it's Always full of Wrinkles
Noses Run In My Family
Not Tonight, I Have a Heartache
Now I lay Me Down To Cheat

Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, ...... But Baby I Can See Through You


Pardon My Southern Movements, Miss Lou
Peekin' Through the Knothole In Grandma's Wooden Leg
Poison Ivories
Put On the Soup Ma, Dad's Rakin' the Back Yard With His False Teeth

Razzazza Mazzazza
Run to the Roundhouse, Sally, They Can't Corner You There

She Got The Gold Mine, I Got The Shaft
She Made Toothpicks Of The Timber Of My Heart
She Was Bred in Old Kentucky, But She's Just a Crumb Out Here
She's Your Cook, But She Burns My Bread Sometimes
Since You Bought The Waterbed We've Slowly Drifted Apart
Snore Your Blues Away

Take Me To The Corn Field Honey And I'll Kiss You Between The Ears
Take Me To The Quarry And I'll Get A Little Bolder
The Beer I Had For Breakfast Is Comin' Back For Lunch
The Coat and Pants Do All Of The Work But It's The Vest That Gets The Gravy (Hoosier Hotshots)
The Last Word in Lonesome Is Me
The Pilot Light has Gone Out on Our Oven of Love (John Gorka)
The Pint of No Return
The Railroad Comes Through the Middle of the House (Often misremembered as
"The Railroad Runs Through the Middle of the House")
There's no lights on the Christmas Tree Mama, they’re burning Big Louie tonight (Alex Harvey Band)
These Boots Were Meant For Lickin'
Time Wounds All Heels

Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart

We Used to Just Kiss on the Lips But Now It's All Over
What Kind of a Noise Annoys an Oyster?
What Made Milwaukee Famous (Has Made a Loser Out of Me)
When It's Night Time in Italy It's Wednesday Over Here
When It's Oyster Picking Time in Chattanooga I'll Muscle In On You
When We Get Back To the Farm (That's When We Really Go To Town)
When We Were Down to Nothin' (Nothin' Sure Looked Good on You)
When You Leave, Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In ...
When Your Phone Don't Ring It'll Be Me
While She's Raisin' Cane In Texas, I'm Pullin' Weeds In Tennessee.
Whoop! Whoop!! Whoop!!! Make a Noise Like a Hoop and Roll Away (1908)
Who Put All My Ex's in Texas?
Would A Manx Cat Wag Its Tail If It Had One?

Yes, We Have No Bananas
Yes, We Like Bananas (Because They Have No Bones)
You Blacked My Blue Eyes Once Too Often
You Called Her Up, Now You Call Her Off
You Can Lead a Horticulture, But You Cain't Make 'er Think
You Can Tell the Man Who Boozes (By the Company He Chooses, and the Pig got up and Slowly Walked Away)
You Can't Deal Me All The Aces And Expect Me Not To Play
You Can't Get Many Pimples On A Pound Of Pickled Pork
You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too
You Done Me Wrong, But Keep On Doing It 'Til You Do It Right
You May Put Me In Prison, But You Can't Keep My Face From Breakin' Out
You Put Me on My Feet (When You Took Her Off My Hands)
You Stole My Wife, You Horse Thief
You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life
You're the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

End of thread.

The PB for Mod pledges: Cloudyshin O'Watra, ESM, MSTB, Squidge, Buff, Noddy the Bolton Blue, Spiderpig, Emigre, The Ghost of Gibbi, Bill, Danny's Stud's, Shimmer.

The Smiths don't count in a Best of... anything thread.

'Kiss Me Where It Smells Funny' by the Bloodhound Gang.