” We were just not used to playing in shirt’s without sponsorship. Ever since I started playing in 1991 we have always had a logo on our kit, be it ‘Sharp’ ‘Vodafone’ or nowadays ‘AIG’. It didn’t feel right just playing for Manchester United, my heart wasn’t in it. The players are commodities now. We know we are walking billboards and we feel comfortable with that. I have talked to the other lads and to be honest they all said the same thing. We felt naked out there today. You can’t throw yourself into tackles if you think your souls are hanging out of your shorts.”

We think that recent signing, Brazilian wonderkid, Anderson supported Giggs. Talking to our reporter he said,

” O meu amigo é correto. Eu quis os meus testicals estiveram na demonstração hoje. Os bastardos, o fundo, os arsehole ”

Unfortunately our paper does not have access to a Portugese translator. However one can only assume Anderson was not happy about the situation.

On similiar lines, 29 year old, mixed race defender Rio Ferdinand, said,

” I agree with Giggsy. We didn’t stand a chance out there today. The boss allowed us to change our underpants at half time. I wore a pair with ‘Barclaycard’ written down the side, whilst Scholesy had a pair sponsored by ‘Toys ‘R’ Us’. It felt slightly better and I think that reflected in our second half performance but it was too little too late. Do you know that not wearing the ‘AIG’ logo cost us all £30,000 each today. I worked that out at £333 per minute or £5.50 per second. It’s difficult to concentrate on a cross with those kind of figures racing around in your head. I only hope for the clubs sake that they don’t do the same thing in another 50 years time “.

Mr Ferdinand thanked our Sports correspondent and told us that he would expect the bill for the 2 minute interview to be settled by early next week. Further he said that he would like it to be known that his, ‘whiter than white smile’ was thanks to ‘Aquafresh Extreme clean toothpaste’, and that his close shave was due to, ‘Gillette,.. the best a Man can get’.

From Manchester with love